Pants Party

I hate this!!

2009-10-06T02:31:00.000-07:00

I am a forgetful person,
so I must not forget.

For I am depressed.

I hate the happiness of youth,
I hate the sadness of unborn pain,
I hate the vicious tyrants rule,
I hate the shy needy-less poor.

I dont want to be happy,
I must not forget that I am angry,
I must not forget,
I hate this.

This wretched, cross eyed world!!

Most of all I am lonely,
right down to the core.
Of who I am, and who I am not.
I hate this lonely dark, uncertain place.

For I do not know what to do here,
I do not know who to be here.
I do not know how to remember,
sadness here.

So I am lost.

Between a dying grown, and a happy hello.

Let me in.

2009-08-21T00:12:00.000-07:00

Hidden from my gaze,
your sweet scent lingers.
I am not invited in,
not provided with a golden key.
I can, but watch
twirling rhythm of thoughts surround you.
I can, but seek
to dive into your world of words.
Never-ending letters,
that form beautiful picture puzzles in your mind.
Let me in.
Oh, let me in.
Let us sail across the sea of comfort.
Lifted up in spiritual harmony,
by each others embrace.
Let me love you,
oh my cleaver, beautiful man.

Whipping Winds

2008-11-21T01:37:00.000-08:00

I wish for a cool light breezy chant,
shadows cast on a warm spring day,
a light touch of warmth on my carefree sun kissed skin.
Where is thou light touch,
that warms my soul?
Where is thou sweet scent,
that beckons me to love?

The sharp cool air bruises.
Its silent whispers echoes the winds of winters harsh blows.
Why must you be so careless?
To revel in the mercy of my forgiveness.
I need not catch up after myself,
I have already been kept silent.
My wish for you now,
oh whipping winds so careless and unforeseen,
is that you may not find me here again,
for I shall soon vanish.

Universe

2008-11-04T16:25:00.000-08:00

The Universe is for me,
Who shall dear stand against me.
For I am one with the soul of the earth,
He shall surely guide my path.
Listen to the magic crackle,
Of the giant wise old tree.
Listen to the hushed songs,
Of the ancient whistling winds.
Their secrets will guild thee through the valley,
As they have done for thousands of years.
The path of greatness as been etched in gold,
All that is left to do is live.
Live by the passions of ones heart.
Live by the greatness of ones God who lives within.
Live by truth and not by might.
Live each moment in greatness,
And with greatness will come life.

The Circus

2008-09-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

We find hear before us today,
a single jury panel in a large crowded courtroom,
who sets course to decide each others fate.
15 Years to life - proclaims the jury,
objection - screams the judge,
order in the court - yells the defense,
the circus is now in procession.

This picture painted on my youthful mind,
shall not be my final hour.
I wish to capture more in life,
than a hoop jumping routine of madness.

But if we are to step into something hopeful,
integrity must desire my heart to beat,
for my final hour will bring forth my truth.
I must love - with pulsing desire,
when burning words are hard to draw from the fire.

Only ones self may keep in line,
the destroying power of a lonely lie.
A lonely lie that will only lead,
to the downfall of,
this king and queen.

For Caren....

2008-08-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

We trailed through mountain peaks
We ran through misty snow flakes
We danced in stormy moonlight
We who were alive and free
Our hearts a glow from the warmth
Only two souls who are lucky enough to know
True love
True friendship
Truth and freedom we dearly share

We plummeted down the soft mountainside
We rifled through old magicians houses
We laughed and shared in hot tubs
For life is truly what you make of it
And when it comes to you dear friend
Your free wild adventurous ways
Alight my heart and make me sing
I am honored and astounded
To know such beauty so rare
For yes it is true
We are bes-ties
Two souls that love
Truly

We are doing ok!

2008-07-22T23:18:00.000-07:00

Baby

Although certain other people (bless there souls) are sadly not doing okay
I do believe without a doubt we are in fact
Doing okay

For we see that we do not need to be wrapped up in a tortilla of social responsibility
That a title at every stage of life will not prove we are in fact sane
For if a title must be sketched into our foreheads for sanity's sake
I am quite sure I will be willing to be called insane

I am even willing (and I think you would tend to agree)
To be cast out of this so called reformed world
If in fact I must conform to this ridiculous notion
That love is not enough

For if love is to be purchased like a car
A contract to be made
Signatures to be drawn on a doted line
The thought that if there's no marriage proposal
There shall be no love
Then I proclaim that I would rather steal the car and end up a criminal
Then enter into such a preposterous engagement

Sweetie I am afraid its true
Other people do feel pity for our lost souls
They pat our backs and love us anyway
Even though we are lost and sinful creatures
Who search the world for love and truth and adventure
We who step outside our box and ask the real questions that matter
We who make the decision to take off the mask and show our ugly faces

Yep
Im sorry to say this other people
But we are doing okay

Be still, be calm.

2008-07-22T23:17:00.001-07:00

Be still
Be calm
My melancholic soul
Love is what you desire for
Love is which you hunger more
But why do you look far and wide for this love
That can not meet you on this cold night

For my deep surrounding joyous love
My roof top shouting goddess love
This is a love you can always meet
Steady and true
Shall always whisper you a goodnight tune
So make friends dear one
With THIS love before you
With THIS friend who surely knows you
Be still
Be calm my dear
For this lover is merely you

Love!

2008-07-22T23:16:00.001-07:00

Its mystery is grand
Its width is substantial
But ever so delicate
And ever so magical

As we search for our love
Our place in life
What we believe to be real
What we choose to leave behind

Let us not falter
Let us not quiver
When love comes our way
And we find were still broken

For broke we may be
And lost we probably are
But give love a minute
To find our hearts centre

Did I run?

2008-07-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

You ask the question
Did I run
But I do not believe you understand the question you are asking
The answer to your some what intriguing question is however
No I did not run
I did in fact walk if that makes it any easier on you?
Or perhaps if I had skipped you would find that lighter on the pallet?
Maybe you should explain to me how you would like the answer phrased
Then we wouldn't waste any time
Then I would look somewhat normal to you again
You could put me back in the box you understand quite clearly
And you would not have to worry about me any longer

For I fear with such a question
You do not wish to know me
I fear you do not want to know the trials I have been through
Sitting with my tennis shoes wrapped neatly in a box
For who was I to step out into the world running?
Wow... maybe I should have tried skipping?

The great hope of love

2008-07-03T00:53:00.000-07:00

Let me not contrive elegant stories for your amusement sake
But instead let me be the story that brings laughter to your soul

Let me not hope to be free within the soft grip of your love
But instead let me be the freedom that lets you sore

Let our breath not struggle to be long and meaningful
But instead let us bring meaning to each moment with each breath

Let me not keep hidden the suitcase of emotions I have yet to unlock
But instead let us share the secret twists and turns of our life's stuggle

Let me not want anything from you
But instead let me want to have everything of you

Let me not be satisfied with sugar and spice and all things nice
But instead let me see deep into the rush of blood to your veins

Let me not hold a list of chores by my side
But instead let us want to be wanted every time

Let me not wonder what tomorrows adventures will bring
But instead let us allow each other to run wild and free today
In the faith that tomorrow will too bring magic freedom
And the great hope of love

If you were close enough.

2008-06-03T00:49:00.000-07:00

If you were close enough to reach,
I'd kick at you more than once.
If you were close enough to smell,
I'd hit at you more than twice.
If you were close enough to see,
I'd run to wrap my legs around you-
If you were close enough to feel
The breath of love on your shoulder,
If you were close enough to touch
This shy adventurer who wants to know you.

If we were close enough to know
That life would lead us through this,
If we were close enough to run
In any direction we wanted,
If we were close enough to hold
Each other's hearts very tender;

If I were close enough to be
A limb you always needed-
If I were close enough I'd be
The one you choose
To be wanted.

Goodbye

2008-05-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

In I leaped, with honesty
a growing heart
and a bright full mind.
I jumped and gave enormously
into the ocean of a new life.
The old pieces cracked away
fresh vision, fresh spice overflowed.

And yes, from the time of conception
you have disappointed me more then once
and yes, I have forgiven
Moved forward, more then twice.
I have loved you,
with an explosive heart
I have kissed you,
with a passionate soul.

But I stand here today
not to beg for your heart
nor to discount the truly magical moments
only our two hearts have known.
no, I stand here today
with the gift of freedom.

I thank you, for all of the lessons you have meet my heart with
Thank you, for the passion I have thrived in.
Please don't think, my heart doesn't bleed when it turns to leave
and don't think, my mind will not visit you frequently.
I shall continue on the path of honesty
with hope that you may too.
For if distance is what you truly desire
I will have to say to you now
my true love,
Goodbye.

Is it safe to feel?

2008-05-21T03:58:00.000-07:00

Yes it is safe to sit in one spot
draw a chalk circle around yourself
close your eyes and uncross your heart.
Reflect this time, on what feelings are.
Things you may not wish to feel,
you think to say, but are not sure to believe.
Yes,
hop into a pool full of hungry hammerheads,
dig deep into the sand,
and still find a few more angry places.

But,
don't just reason with logic
and don't just move with your heart in your hand
do both
or do neither
for either or, will put you in a place that walks with danger.

Have you not seen the glimmer of hope?

2008-05-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

There is a whole in my heart,
and it bleeds tears for you.
It wants to weep the pain away,
it grips to hold your fears at bay.
It asks
Have you not seen the glimmer of hope?
That sparkle in the corner
of the deeply sorrow filled dark dark room?
No, you say
stuck in a corner of yourself you can not escape
you keep digging, but never find that space.

I will search for you
I will look for your hope
I will be the madness
I will take the sadness
I will search for that day
some day, soon
when you will look down and say
It was nice to get out of the hole
today.

The battlefield of love

2008-04-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

Hearts crack once more
confused and bruised we lay in love,
the battlefield of love.

But as we lay

and share

once more, care

we fight through storms and valley's

we fight ourself
we crawl over each other

just so we may once again lay in a place

of uncertainty.

Crooked Circles

2008-04-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

If you talk in crooked circles
let me share with you, please
let nothing keep truth from your lips
let no man devour your need for kicks
if you are lonely
meet your shadow
if you are angry sit and mellow
When you fall in love
let it be mystical with every touch
when you are ready to find honesty in love
hunt for it as if it were your soul gone astray
weep for it like Sunday rain
sit and wait on your truth
whatever may bubble and boil within
know it
understand it
for the knowledge you shall inhale
is worthy of every breath
go on
try it out
then you may tell me it wasn't worth
every tear you met.

Oh loneliness

2008-04-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

Oh loneliness how are you
its great to see you again my friend
I know you long to stay
but I must find a better place for you
I must work out a better deal with you
so you will not haunt me again and again!

Let us not assume!

2008-04-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

Let us not assume to know each others wear abouts
we should be consumed by our own center
each our own emotion we shall unravel.
Then as we unmask our own truths
let me come to you and ask you about your truths.
For assuming never gets us anywhere
it will only lead us down a path of nonsense questions
a path that leads far from its starting point.

Truth telling

2008-04-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

Imagine if we could speak only truth
to know our heart and seek only the fire.
For the truth telling would be our greatest victory
and the most worthwhile gift to each others hearts.
Could our minds comprehend such simple acts
the most simple yet heavy deeds
to say what we mean
and mean what we say
wouldn't we be so free!

Insomnia

2008-04-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

You lay me down to sleep
and still I am awake
I wonder what is this
the speed in my heart, a race
even now miles apart
I am asking what is this
insomnia
they may call it
torture
you may speak of it
but crazy none the less

yes crazy thats what it will make me!

Young children... whatever your name

2008-04-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

Young Tailor, Isabella
whatever your name
I am sorry, in advance
for all of the pain
I do know now that life is insane
that people do wrong
even if they share a name

You are loved beyond a doubt
you have a place no matter where your head falls
for we are human
for we are gray
but we wish for honor and not for shame!

Please look around you
find love and spiritual bliss
you will climb walls
conquer mountains
find truth and hate
you will know poor and rich
blow it all
and still come back for more
I want it all for you
yes you
yet I do not know your name.

I want you to know
that even now I speak of you
forgive me
know me
search for me
as I will surely search for you!

Count me in!

2008-04-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

The day we meet again can never come too soon
for my chest is on fire
there is a lack of sleep
you know oh too well, exactly what drug I mean.

But longing is right
this longing will make mountains higher
it is good to free space
it is wrong to hold too tight.

So I thank you
and admire you
for your wanting to pace
my heart is not strong enough
but this time is precious
this time we need to be away,
from the flashing lights
and the wilderness we have explored
the frozen time
and burning clocks
to make sense of it all.

So I will honor you with this
I will honor us
and the vast hope there is
to give you away
so I may have you more in each way
not to smother
but to love you more intently
more extremely
is that possible
if it is
count me in!

Pieces of me, for you to have!

2008-04-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

It will never matter
the multitude of universe between our hearts
Never will I loose
your beauty that has been etched on my heart
your smile travels with me
your shine transcends space and time
you are me
and I am you
I am locked by your magic
in owe of what's tragic
for it has made you you
and it has made me me
and for that I can only be insanely grateful

The debt I have counted
will never be enough
to repay you for your friendship
for your honesty and love
elegant and smart
gorgeous with every fart
on this day
I proclaim to the universe
turn around world, take notes
for this woman you see before you
this humble gorgeousness who bestows you
she is one in a trillion
don't fuck it up world
I will give you but one chance!

Im here, and I'm willing to wait!

2008-03-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

Dear friend I'm here
and I'm willing to wait
for that piece of you
your not willing to give away
for you are the most, precious soul
I could wish to whole heartedly know
so if its not too much to ask
please open that bashed heart
go on
spill it out
the rottenness
the hate
onto the street if that may be the case

Do you see my heart
wrenched at its core
for I want to shake sense
into the part of you thats raw
Do you see my insanity
my ramble
my rage
for sense I want to shake
shake I want to sense
I want to sense shake
I want to shake sense

You know not what beauty you hold
you see not what power or mold
how do I show you
the world is yours
love is yours
the great untamed love of life
its yours

I stand here today
not as a preacher
nor as a saint
for I too have that same mad DNA
no
I stand here tonight
on my knees
half insane
to give you all my love
to give you all my hate
in the hope that you may one day
throw something back in my face!

Some things are not complicated

2008-03-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

heavenly person, my follower
my lover from above
I m humbled by your presence
Im engrossed in your love
who am I
a forgotten soul
I m only someone in a crowd
but you know me by my voice alone
each note
each tone
each sound
Your simple plan is complicated
but it need not be to me
for simple agape I receive
no terms
no signature
no bottom line please.

You are who I long to be
spirit, mind, soul
You are who is true and right
its a joke
I m laughing hard
just like Im ment to be!

To know you!

2008-03-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

All of you is consumed
by me and by my love
most of you is assumed
by me to be untouched
part of you is hidden
I know thats fair enough
I m searching for that portion
that greed
that grit
the rough stuff

For what is true love
if its not too much
and what is true passion
if not a grand search, for the great unknown
if not a pining
for that hidden gold
that deep unknown
that just may be
the piece of the puzzle
I need
to know you

to know you

Toss politeness

2008-03-18T02:34:00.000-07:00

Maybe I m strong
or too in love to know
too obsessed to find out
that I am out of my mind

Crazy I may be
Mental you may find
But full of love
yes
I'm not waisting your time!

Please don't be afraid
to bruise me
to know me
For this magic we've cast
will first of all heal me

I want you
All of you
I don't care what the cost
So toss a coin
toss politeness
and let me back in your life!

Obsession stop following me!

2008-03-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

Obsession is a cruelty
only man could have made
for it grips like anger
without the hate
it lurks modestly
until your willing to break
it creates madness
until your willing to go insane

Why do you follow me
obsession of mine
or is it me who follows you
oh obsession stop lying

Enough with your circles
with wasted time
obsession I curse you
wait
but I need you
wait
but I hate you
wait
Oh rats!

For love to survive

2008-03-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

For love to survive
isn't a breaking heart required
For truth to hold
a seeking heart must mold
For love is not a maybe
love is a must
For passion is not a playground
but a full life found
to find love
we find pain
this is all we must seek
for everything else
is a mystery.

I am hopeful

2008-03-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

I hang to every word you place
on my heart
in my mind
through the pain you've encased

I m hopeful that soon
I may move on from your rhymes
I m satisfied that noon
will make sense in time

If I am honest and not proud
If I have faith to go around
I will want you
But I shall leave you
For I know I will only drown

A LEPER OR A FOX?

2008-03-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

Time rolls by
I imagine you stay quiet and proud
Years flick past
I imagine you're happy and dumbed down

Oh Friend
What shame you have bought
That you can't forgive morals
That your life is bound & bought
Gagged & wrapped
Held at shame point

Who was I?
a leper
a fox
Did it really matter
That I was kicked and tossed

This salad of people
Who were dis honed by your kind
Are not bitter & angry
Just pissed & fucked off.

Dear Father.....

2008-02-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

Hello dear father
is there something to say
are you proud
disappointed
at the fumble iv made

There was time once
long gone
where fresh ears would have heard
the marvelous things
your heart could not give

In this tough time I beg
no religion
nor shame
pure honesty I ask
please give me this
I pray

Waste not...........................a moment.

2008-02-24T21:19:00.002-08:00

We were all once poor men

humble and shy
born in the same way
with the same
dark eyes.

Forgotten, we will soon be
Missed, we will soon fade
upon ashes, under ashes
the earth will speak our name.

So what then this
our moment of time
where pyramids were once formed
something more glorious will soon arise

What mark shall we stamp
on this day
this hour
this night
waste it not dear friend
there is but one clock
that chimes.

In times of greatness.....

2008-02-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

In times of greatness
We stand tall and straight
But less we forget
We once stood short and staged

Be humble
Be proud
Of the triumphs we've made
No room for madness
Worry
hate

For then we truly
Have lost our way

And the point
Of this great day

Please do you have something I may own?

2008-02-24T16:18:00.001-08:00

I m trying to find something of my own
but nothing is mine, its yours
I m trying to teach something I have known
but nothing is true, its false

I designed the ring, that caged me in
The ring that made me old
I named the things, I couldn't have
And now that name is home

I m boxed in a corner Iv never seen
a corner of myself

Iv freed the Dylan within me
but where to now

ask yourself!

20 Fourth of February 2 Thousand and Eight

2008-02-24T15:23:00.000-08:00

The things you love to worship

will be the things you choose to hate

The memories you capture
will be the things you throw away
The more you try to live
the less you become yourself

Dark times rise
good times fall
happiness breaks
while pain paints your walls

What is left
can peace be bought
what is wrong
can love be owned
who is right
what is false
why cant words
be there own

life creeps by with a twinkle in its eye
it knows whats been, and where to go
its secrets can be afforded
if your willing

not to be bought

...........................Love...........................

2008-02-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

This life I own,
has but one purpose,
love!

Health - a mystery.
Wealth - a silent demon.
Happiness - a way to survive.

But Love,
Our one purpose,
Will bring all meaning to life!

Life will not wait

2008-02-16T22:31:00.001-08:00

Life waits for no one.

its electric,
it murders,
it will not wait.

Nothing is Odd!!

2008-01-30T01:29:00.000-08:00

In Venice streets are paved with odd
bicycles find
worlds worth of fun
roller blades hold
music for everyone
lemonade stalls & leopard spots
carnival rides & chewing gum knots
muscle men
with tops off
showing the world
what they've got
carousels and airplanes
upside down laughter
from Jesus crazed men
everything is normal
nothing is odd!

Penguins and dolphins and a few memories

2008-01-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

Somedays im lost,
out to sea, with the penguins and dolphins and a few memories.
Although toes are wrinkly, and hands look like prunes,
I'll stay out forever in this blue lagoon.
Sunset rolls by now, the moon is alive,
sparkly friends dive around dancing in time.
Cellophane cradles me while I rock to sleep,
rolling around crinkle noises at my feet.
I hear the mermaids, singing in time,
I think I may join them, but only for tonight.